I would second this video series as a good starting point/refresher for covering some of the most salient points of setting up a tank from scratch. As you eluded to, there are many ways to achieve "success", which is why you can find a lot of contradictory info, but you can still find some solid principals in the mix. The most consistent advice I have seen, which matches my experience, is to shoot for stability in your parameters and take whatever path to best achieve that. There are certainly some choices to be made that will influence things such as lighting and flow (are you keeping coral? If so what kind) but, regardless, stability is a common goal for any setup.