Emerald525

I hear you Tim and you are right for the most part I don't care what some people say or think but like I said this forum felt to me like home and felt to me like a family. Beth can attest I am rarely brought to tears over anything but I opened myself up to the people here which made me also more open to getting hurt.

Ca2OR, I was not going to call out anyone who posted in the thread or started the thread. However for you to post in this thread and say you avoided it, is simply not true. I am confused by your comments that you avoided the thread because you in fact posted twice and after my comment that I do not like the thread on many different levels. Once was to post the "This thread is worthless without pictures" and secondly some comment about how you were from Southern California and implied that there were a lot of latinos there.

It seems my original thread and the thread I was referring to are both deleted. This was not my intention as I think people should have the right to speak.

Okay, I'm going to try again. This thread was deleted because of some of the comments made so please if you post be respectful. I would like to see your words. Please know there are many of you that I care about and respect so I am very torn about my decision but I also do not want to feel like this again. I have debated back and forth about posting this. Beth told me not to because she is the nonconfrontational type. However, I felt like if I did not say anything that would be the same as saying it is okay. I also don't think many of you would understand how deeply the words posted in this thread hurt me. Beth doesn't even understand. Friday there was a thread started about Illegal immigration and I posted that I was not happy about this thread. I feel the issue of illegal immigration is a problem with no great solution. I also feel there are always underlying racial undertones to the discussion. It always becomes an us versus them scenario which makes no sense since unless you are native american, all our ancestors are immigrants. Some of us in this forum are immigrants now. I was also deeply disturbed because of the negative path this discussion always takes. When people hear the word illegal immigration the picture that comes to mind in most people's minds (including my own) is brown skinned individuals from Mexico. Even though there are illegal immigrants from Canada, cuba, Russia, China, South america. I have even met someone from Scotland who was here illegaly. The difference is some of these people have white skinned speak English and look no different than the majority of the people in this forum. It is easier to be afraid and to judge when we feel a person is so different from us. (They are not so different from us). Many come out of fear for their lives. I have seen parents of young children deported and families destroyed and their sad faces also came to mind with this discussion. Then the discussion usually spirals down about fears about how white people are going to be the minority and what the world is going to become. Part of me feels like shouting "Welcome to my world." I do understand the fear to some degree but I assure you, fear based on the color of one's skin is useless. Viewing people as being very different from you can also be dangerous. I find getting to know the individual works best. I have worked with many different people from many different backrounds and I assure you, I do not show favoritism because someone's skin happens to be dark like mine and I don't hold any bias against you because your skin is a different color. I never fully introduced myself. I am female, well educated professonal who works with children and very much loves her job because of the joy, innocence and honesty that children bring to the world. I happen to also be Latina, Mexican American, or whatever label you want to place on me. I happen to have darker skin, brown eyes and am female. My whole life I have been judged for the color of my skin. I have been followed in stores. I have been treated rudely even here in Portland simply because of the color of my skin. There are some people in this forum who I considered friends who are so different than me in their political thoughts and I think this is wonderful that a common interest such as the saltwater hobby can unite people from so many backrounds. I have always felt welcomed in this forum with open arms and people have gone out of their way to help. I often forget that I am a minority until those days when I am followed in a store by a security guard or pulled over for no reason other than the color of my skin or I read a thread where people are posting negative things about minorities. People who I have met or have been in my home posting even when I politely stated that I was not happy with the thred.. It made me feel like "Wow, if they knew I was Mexican would they even want me in their homes." I will never understand why my "[language filter] is your avatar" thread was so offensive but everyone was okay with this thread about illegal immigration which I find far more destructive. There was even a board member posting in this thread and not one moderator had a problem with the thread. If you have to preface a statement "I'm not a racist, but..." you probably are a racist and you probably should not complete the sentence. If you are going to look up a link about how there are going to be more minority newborns than white newborns and then say "not that it matters", it obviously does. This thread is not to preach about politics or which is better republican, democrat, independent or no government at all for some of you. This thread is not to spark debate about illegal immigration. I really think it is wise to not bring politics or religion into this forum because they are such hot button items and tend to be divisive topics. I also would never want to censor someone because I believe in free speech which is why I didn't ask anyone to close the thread.. All I am is asking is to watch what you say out of respect for me or others when it truly causes them emotional pain. I do want to thank those who did refrain from saying anything because I know it is difficult to do sometimes. L I also wanted to thank those who deleted their posts simply out of respect or realizing that nothing good was going to come out of the post. I just felt the need to say that I was brought to tears by reading the responses in this thread. This surprised me because I feel in some ways I am very hardened but as corny as it sounds, this place feels like a family. Dysfunctional at times but a family just the same. I cried when I heard about twogirls untimely death and was sad for days feeling like I lost a friend. I was angry and sad when Frank's rings were stolen and overjoyed when they were returned. Right now, however, I feel like an outsider. I know most of the people in this forum probably didn't see the thread. Many may not understand why it was hurtful but I feel when you are saying things about minorities , I personally feel attacked and felt like someone kicked me right in the gut. Some may wonder why I'm letting a few ignorant comments affect me this way. Part of it was the feeling that nobody seemed to care or was outraged and I felt very much alone. I am considering no longer being a member because of this thread and the postings. I know for many it may seem an overreaction. Right now the feelings are still raw so I am going to wait and see how I feel after a few more days. As much as I care about and appreciate many of you in this forum, I also do not want to be brought to tears and have many painful experiences brought back to me like this. It is simply not worth it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do but I just wanted to remind people to think before they post.

Congratulations! Best of breed and champion in a weekend! Quite an honor!

Touching words Scott. That's an excellent point. His name was not mentioned in any of these threads and I never saw it any of his other postings. Teresa would you mind telling us his name?

Geez Alex, I thought you had a marketing major?(laugh) I don't think I have heard the term redox since chemistry 101!:eek: Thanks for the information, I tried to breifly explain to Beth oxidation and reduction again but it's been a while for me too and then I just stopped caring lol!(laugh)

Welcome to the club Kitten!(clap)

Congrats! It feels good when you feel done doesn't it? Then again part of the fun is the building! Newfisher you sound like an awesome guy and can't wait to meet you someday! Can't wait for pics!

Beautiful puppy. Love the white eyelashes. Now you have me considering a white German Shepherd as a future dog!

Awesome Jason and Congrats on winning Queen Angel! Couldn't have happened to a nicer person!

Ahhh what a cute tank!(clap) Is that okay to call a tank cute or does that offend macho house husbands like you Mick! (laugh) You definitely need some more rock!(rock2)

Okay Mick, I will take the blue bear and the red white and blue bear in pic 1 and then we will be even and that will be 10 dollars and we will be even!

Okay Mick, my 12 year old stepdaughter took a look. She thought it was a little gross that they were on your toilet seat! LOL but she will take the chihuahua, giraffe, and the polar bear. That means you only owe us 4 bucks for the chalice frag or we can upgrade you to a bigger one! Better hurry, these beanies are going to go fast at this price!

OHhhhh that's bad! LOL! I have never seen our open brain take in actual chunks of food and it does great. I just add oyster feast, reef chili at times, etc to the water.

Way to go Jules! That was quick! Now you can be part of the grow out!

They're cute and all and would love to help you out Mick but I am way past the beanie baby phase!(laugh) Good luck to you but I think you are advertising to the wrong crowd! Prove me wrong folks! Buy up all of Mick's beanie babies!(clap)(clap)

LOL +1. Mick I would have never in a milliion years pictured you posting a thread about beanie babies! LMAO!(laugh)

Excellent tip about exercising the dog before putting the leash on. You're the first trainer I have heard give that tip. My short legged corgi does fine on the leash without exercise. My short legs can't keep up with my long legged Shepherd's gait just at a simple walk but problem solved when I started taking him along side my bike. He and I are much happier! Before that I would take him to the park and throw the ball first before I would walk him.

The good: I underestimated the person who stole the rings and they actually did the right thing and returned them. The bad: We are likely never going to know who stole the rings. It could have been a newbie, paid member, nonmember, etc so the underlying suspicion is going to be there for many. I would just advise letting it go because the one you may think it is could be completely innocent. The good:Frank and Sheri's responses and willingness to still host meetings even after this. The bad:I am more reluctant to host a meeting not because I have any prized possessions I can live without but because it makes me sad to feel like I have to lock up my jewelry and put away my credit cards and cash. I have hosted many parties and unlike some in this forum, I have never had anything go missing. The good:I have been impressed with the people I have met. Queen Angel bought yumas from us and it was attached to a bigger piece of rock so she felt she had to pay more for it because it was the right thing to do. Grassi let us borrow his pump for the live rock we bought from him when it was the only second time we met. We met Frank only once when we looked at his tank and he came over a month later to help us with our Kalkreactor. Tim from Westside took pity on us and helped us set up the calcium reactor we bought from him. Brad, reefnjunkie, gave us some great tips and has pmd me many times about questions I have had and even offered me a leather coral which I didn't take Spectra dropped off a used jar of reef chili at our home at no cost. Forgive me for those of you who I have forgotten. My point is I have had way more positive experiences of people going above and beyond to help without asking for anything in return.

+1 on crate training Algae I would also recommend taking a puppy kindergarten class. They are fun and they generally give good basic puppy advice but most importantly IMO the benefit of the class is it socializes the dog.

You should ask Alex (Grassi) what his poor Huma trigger lived through.

Kenya trees grow like weeds too Jules. I don't think they are very pretty and they can be a pain if they start spreading. They do act like weeds and I guarantee someone here would hook you up with one for free. You have any zoas? Many of these can be easy to grow too.

2 or 3 days will be fine Jules. I know what you mean though, I like my fish well fed and happy. we have done that on long weekends for camping trips and they have done fine. I have heard of more problems with automatic feeders dumping to much food which is far more problematic.

Sorry that sucks. When I'm stressed I just go to my "happy fish and coral world". If I were you I would do the following: 1. Check with the place you have the oil changed and see if they have copies of your oil change records. 2. Report the dealership to the Better Business Bureau. Sometimes they will try to work it out with you.