Grammar That Makes You Look Stupid

[Piero]

yes sloppy grammar really makes us sound uneducated to people who know better. Please correct me if I make any of these basic mistakes. My spelling sucks too, but I have a spell checker behind which to hide. :P

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These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally. Often, we're in a hurry, quickly dashing off emails with typos, grammatical shortcuts (I'm being kind here), and that breezy, e.e. cummings, no-caps look. It's expected. It's no big deal. But other times, we try to invest a little care, avoiding mistakes so that there's no confusion about what we're saying and so that we look professional and reasonably bright.

 

In general, we can slip up in a verbal conversation and get away with it. A colleague may be thinking, "Did she just say 'irregardless'?", but the words flow on, and our worst transgressions are carried away and with luck, forgotten.

 

That's not the case with written communications. When we commit a grammatical crime in emails, discussion posts, reports, memos, and other professional documents, there's no going back. We've just officially gone on record as being careless or clueless. And here's the worst thing. It's not necessary to be an editor or a language whiz or a spelling bee triathlete to spot such mistakes. They have a way of doing a little wiggle dance on the screen and then reaching out to grab the reader by the throat.

 

So here we are in the era of Word's red-underline "wrong spelling, dumb [language filter]" feature and Outlook's Always Check Spelling Before Sending option, and still the mistakes proliferate. Catching typos is easy (although not everyone does it). It's the other stuff — correctly spelled but incorrectly wielded — that sneaks through and makes us look stupid. Here's a quick review of some of the big ones.

 

#1: Loose for lose

No: I always loose the product key.

Yes: I always lose the product key.

 

#2: It's for its (or god forbid, its')

No: Download the HTA, along with it's readme file.

Yes: Download the HTA, along with its readme file.

No: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.

Yes: The laptop is overheating and it's making that funny noise again.

 

#3: They're for their for there

No: The managers are in they're weekly planning meeting.

Yes: The managers are in their weekly planning meeting.

No: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.

Yes: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they're not happy about it.

 

#4: i.e. for e.g.

No: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).

Yes: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).

 

Note: The term i.e. means "that is"; e.g. means "for example". And a comma follows both of them.

 

#5: Effect for affect

No: The outage shouldn't effect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn't have any effect on users.

Yes: We will effect several changes during the downtime.

 

Note: Impact is not a verb. Purists, at least, beg you to use affect instead:

 

No: The outage shouldn't impact any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage should have no impact on users during work hours.

 

#6: You're for your

No: Remember to defrag you're machine on a regular basis.

Yes: Remember to defrag your machine on a regular basis.

No: Your right about the changes.

Yes: You're right about the changes.

 

#7: Different than for different from

No: This setup is different than the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is different from the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is better than the one at the main office.

 

#8 Lay for lie

No: I got dizzy and had to lay down.

Yes: I got dizzy and had to lie down.

Yes: Just lay those books over there.

 

#9: Then for than

No: The accounting department had more problems then we did.

Yes: The accounting department had more problems than we did.

 

Note: Here's a sub-peeve. When a sentence construction begins with If, you don't need a then. Then is implicit, so it's superfluous and wordy:

 

No: If you can't get Windows to boot, then you'll need to call Ted.

Yes: If you can't get Windows to boot, you'll need to call Ted.

 

#10: Could of, would of for could have, would have

No: I could of installed that app by mistake.

Yes: I could have installed that app by mistake.

No: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Yes: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

 

link

[reef165]

so are you saying those who dont care, are stupid? are you saying you dont understand whats being said when mistakes are being made? this isnt a grammer related site, its for everyone who evjoys reefing, hell i can keep a coral alive better than i know how to run a computer, if it wernt for the favorites button and google id have a hard time doing anything on this stupid thing but it dosnt make me less of a reefer dose it?

[CCR]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 

 

I quess i won't be responding to his post anymore as I don't want to be stupid.

[Piero]

i just grabbed it from a blog and pasted it. but always good to freshen up.

[Piero]

added a link to the source. didn't mean to insinuate it was my content; it's a zdnet piece. my grammar and my spelling are both relatively poor, but it's something to work on.

 

this is a reefkeeping site? who hacked my scrabble club page? :T

[Nyles]

Honestly I dont take the time to recheck my spelling on here if it offends you I'm sorry, but I for one could care less about someones spelling on a fish forum, as long as I can make out what they say, but Im not anal about spelling nor about much of anything else.. lol. But hey someone might pronounciate well do to this thread.

[oldbrownies]

wow, why are we so angry about a post on basic grammar and common mistakes? Sorry people are so touchy.

 

 

Thanks for the post Piero, it is a good read.

[loke]

No: If you can't get Windows to boot, then you'll need to call Ted.

Yes: If you can't get Windows to boot, you'll need to call Ted.

 

I missed this one, probably from the Unix training

[cyenna]

Here's the worst thing: it's not necessary to be an editor or a language whiz or a spelling bee triathlete to spot such mistakes. They have a way of doing a little wiggle dance on the screen and then reaching out to grab the reader by the throat.

 

So, here we are in the era of Word's red-underline "wrong spelling, dumb [language filter]" feature and Outlook's Always Check Spelling Before Sending option, and still the mistakes proliferate. Catching typos is easy (although not everyone does it)--it's the other stuff like correctly spelled but incorrectly wielded words that sneaks through and makes us look stupid. Here's a quick review of some of the big ones:

(laugh)

 

The internet is a breeding ground for a new language that is read differently (than, say, a piece of literature), is interpreted variably, and isn't even spoken. However, like any language, people should be able to use it to communicate. A period, a comma, even an exclamation point can make online communication much smoother. For example, shouting at a Frenchman in English in France isn't going to get you to the bathroom any quicker. Making the effort to learn a little of the language and a bit of the culture will probably get you were you want faster.

 

On the other hand, I think I view language/English differently than a lot of people around me because it was not my first language. I don't mean to step on any toes! (hitme)

[Piero]

thanks brownie; the social psychology of virtual communities, eh?

 

However much like the tiny barbs of nematocysts that fire indiscriminately at anything that comes close, unnecessarily defensive reactions tend to bounce off tougher hides.

 

Did I neglect to mention my spelling and grammar are both weak? I thought that might preempt any misunderstanding. ;T Thank GOD for spell checkers though - for both checking and teaching at the same time.

[andy]

Me fail english? That's unpossible!