Jokes

[Swilson]

So, good clean jokes are hard to come by, but I am sure if you try you can come up with one or two.

 

Here is my attempt - no worries - I stole it off the net -- that's what it's for right.....

 

Have you heard about the guys who drove their pickup truck into a lumberyard?

One of them walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

 

"You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" the clerk said.

 

"Let me go check," replied the man, and he went back to the truck.

 

"Yeah, I meant two-by-fours," he said, returning a few moments later.

 

"Alright. How long do you need them?"

 

The customer paused for a minute to think and then finally said, "I'd better go check."

 

After awhile he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're building a house."

[Swilson]

Looks like I'm going to have to keep talking to myself

 

Here I go again.

 

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started

back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a

grave.

 

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did

you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

 

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your

private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen

before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

 

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,

"My wife's first husband."

 

 

There we go again....haha