Jump to content

Significant others and the reefing hobby


SuncrestReef

Recommended Posts

Five years ago I promised my wife an aquarium as a Christmas gift because she has a Ph.D in fish behavior and currently works as a biologist (not related to fish).  After a lot of research I learned that there's a lot to maintaining a proper reef aquarium, so I put it off for several years.  But last year when I retired I finally had the time to devote to doing it right, so I ordered the aquarium and started on my reefing adventure.  Now it's my obsession and she hardly pays attention to it.

Today after adding some new corals, I asked her if she could guess which ones were new.  She looked over the tank, and pointed to the duncan (which has been in the tank for over 10 months), then pointed to the purple stylophora (which we've had for at least 6 months).  I finally pointed out the new ones and she shrugged.  I then asked "OK, which corals are your LEAST favorite".  She pointed to the scoly in the front and said "It just looks fake.  Those colors don't really look natural."  This is what she was pointing to:

Screen Shot 2019-03-19 at 10.10.34 PM.png

I'm just curious how many of you are in the situation where your significant other just isn't interested in your tank, or even seems to dislike the corals that you really like?

I just find it ironically funny that I'm so into something that I set up with her in mind, yet she doesn't care about it in the least. 🤷‍♂️

IMG_5392.jpg

Edited by SuncrestReef
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, albertareef said:

Fortunately my wife enjoys the tank as well although is more about the fish than the coral as they have personality. Her father was in to marine life so she had some early exposure and it stuck. I am, however, admittedly more obsessive about it 😁 

I think finding what they like can be a nice opportunity to find a new relationship over the tank. Most people can't follow a whole tank. 

Maybe she likes fish over coral. She does study fish behavior.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, milesmiles902 said:

I think finding what they like can be a nice opportunity to find a new relationship over the tank. Most people can't follow a whole tank. 

Maybe she likes fish over coral. She does study fish behavior.

Yes, she does like the fish and has even named many of them.  Our tailspot blenny is her favorite.  The corals just don't seem to interest her.

Screen Shot 2019-03-22 at 11.48.06 PM.png

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have had similar experiences with my wife.  I am just glad that she tolerates me and the hobby enough to stick around 😜

I have tried on several occasions getting her own smaller tank setup, something easy to maintain that she could have a clown/nem setup or similar in there.  It works out well for the first few weeks but then I have found that they just end up being another one of my tanks haha.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's definitely my hobby but my wife participates and helps a lot.  She is pretty well versed in procedures regarding tank maintenance and understands what's going on with the hardware.  I try to keep it all simple and documented for my own sake and she says that makes it easier for her to keep up with.  

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m one of the lucky ones too I guess! My wife was pissed when I tore my lagoon down and has been the one that pushes me to get another tank. She even keeps asking for me to get a bigger one than my reefer 170! She likes to pick fish and could pretty much care less about coral as where I’m the opposite. I’d have one fish and a tank full of coral if it were my choice [emoji38]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, SuncrestReef said:

Yes, she does like the fish and has even named many of them.  Our tailspot blenny is her favorite.  The corals just don't seem to interest her.

Screen Shot 2019-03-22 at 11.48.06 PM.png

If she is naming fish, she likes fish. Work with it.

I imagine it's the same with husbands.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

my wife watches the tank more than I do. she like all the gooby looking fish, and once I got a fish, there was no way I could get rid of it. so I got her her own tank (which I end up doing all the maintenance on).

I dont mind, she really enjoys it. My only demand is that she keeps the glass clean.


Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My hubby is happy that I'm happy (happy wife, happy life, right?).  I used to think he didn't pay attention to what's in my tank until one day I brought home a new coral and he said, "I like your new goniopora."  WTH?!  ❤️ 

Now, if we shared our money, it would be a different matter entirely.  When I tell him I just bought a $500 fish he says, "That's great!  Let me see it!"  If we had a joint budget, well you can guess how that would go over.  Works in reverse too though.  When he wants to show me the new quad he just bought on Craigslist I say, "I'm so happy for you!  Your other 4x4 quad doesn't have a winch.  Plus the color matches your 700 Raptor and YFZ 450.  It can probably fit behind your two Z400s, right next to the Honda 450X and 250X."

See what I mean?

  • Like 5
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Gil&Fin said:

My hubby is happy that I'm happy (happy wife, happy life, right?).  I used to think he didn't pay attention to what's in my tank until one day I brought home a new coral and he said, "I like your new goniopora."  WTH?!  ❤️ 

Now, if we shared our money, it would be a different matter entirely.  When I tell him I just bought a $500 fish he says, "That's great!  Let me see it!"  If we had a joint budget, well you can guess how that would go over.  Works in reverse too though.  When he wants to show me the new quad he just bought on Craigslist I say, "I'm so happy for you!  Your other 4x4 quad doesn't have a winch.  Plus the color matches your 700 Raptor and YFZ 450.  It can probably fit behind your two Z400s, right next to the Honda 450X and 250X."

See what I mean?

@SuncrestReef Achieve more of this ^^^

Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, milesmiles902 said:

@SuncrestReef Achieve more of this ^^^

Ha Ha!  Thanks everyone for the responses.  Just to clarify, my wife doesn't hate the tank or get upset about how much I spend on it.  My whole point was that it's funny I set the whole thing up specifically for her because of her background in fish behavior, but it turned out she really wasn't as interested in it as I thought she would be.  It turned out I became obsessed, which is not something I was not expecting.

I'm happy with my reef, and she's happy that I'm happy with it.  Though, I suspect she thinks I'm a bit crazy, along with all the rest of you reefers that I'm always chatting with online. 🤣

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband originally was the one that wanted saltwater after years of freshwater, but I was the one that ended up becoming obsessed 😜 and now he could care less except when people come over he takes the credit for the stuff he did... I think he's accepted this is my hobby like his is hunting, dirt bikes, quads and his precious guitar collection! We all have stuff we love, and our own hobbies. Like recently I said " look at my new Coral I got for Leanne's tank, isn't it pretty?" His response was "yeah pretty, check out my sweet new guitar I just ordered" lol. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, pdxmonkeyboy said:

never admit your husband has quads. dirt bikes, yes, because only smart, funny, and studly guys ride dirt bikes.



Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 

 

3 hours ago, TaylorW said:

My husband originally was the one that wanted saltwater after years of freshwater, but I was the one that ended up becoming obsessed 😜 and now he could care less except when people come over he takes the credit for the stuff he did... I think he's accepted this is my hobby like his is hunting, dirt bikes, quads and his precious guitar collection! We all have stuff we love, and our own hobbies. Like recently I said " look at my new Coral I got for Leanne's tank, isn't it pretty?" His response was "yeah pretty, check out my sweet new guitar I just ordered" lol. 

You just broke the PDXmonkeyboy quad rule! 😁

  • Like 2
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...